Beep beep, the alarm goes off. It’s 5:25am. Reach over, grab the thermometer stick it under your tongue. You have done this hundred times before since starting on your journey of “Trying to conceive”. At 5:29am, you pick up your cell phone, open the screen so that you can have some light to work with. Take the thermometer out of your mouth, shine the light over and squint to get a reading. 36.4’C, shoot you haven’t ovulated yet.
No problem, relax, breathe in and out. At least you have another day or so left. Time is on your side. Even though you will now need to spend the next few hours coming up with a new way to seduce your poor husband into yet another planned “baby making” session. After all you are so close to catching this egg. You can’t afford to fall asleep on the job at this crucial time. Who cares if the internet says the most successful of pregnancies result from sexual intercourse 2 days prior to ovulation? You are just not willing to take that chance.
There is an increase in your cervical mucus forcing you to take a trip to the bathroom at least 4 times every hour to check for some form of fertile mucus. You almost shout “BINGO” when you do find some, especially if you didn’t need to look that hard for it. Five minutes later you are still grinning and playing with your bodily fluids. You have this urge to share this detail with your on line friends who are also Trying to Conceive. They too will be bouncing up and down with excitement at your mucus.
Your timing is perfect. Of course you don’t need to do a hand stand after your latest deposit of super sperm. Just grab that pillow and get those hips elevated. You make your hubby run around finding your pajamas and pouring you something to drink. You aren’t going to move a muscle. Those boys are only moving in one direction. “Go towards the egg boys!!! Go go go……”
Out pops your egg, or so you claim to have felt the very moment of ovulation. The wonderful two week wait is upon you. For some reason you find yourself sitting more up right, you don’t want to chance squashing your potential bean. You abandon all exercise routines in case you dislodge your implanting baby. Google is your new best friend. You have visited almost every early pregnancy symptom website you can get your hands on. Those cute pregnancy tickers are just too good to ignore, you might just need one in a few days time.
Oh boy, (or will it be a girl) the imaginary pregnancy symptoms start developing. Not only are you driving yourself insane with every tingle in your breasts or wave of nausea. There is a little device that is screaming to be peed on. You aren’t mad you keep telling yourself, you might be pregnant. Every mood swing can be contributed to those possible increasing hormones. You have an excuse!
Once again your online friends are chanting for you to Pee-On-A-stick. You give in to temptation and sit for 35 minutes tilting the home pregnancy test in every direction. Looking at it from a 45 degree angle, no maybe a 75 degree will look better. Under sun light, florescent light, maybe try your hazy blue bed side lamp. You swear you see a second line. Your husband is convinced that you are nuts, because it’s the 6th test you have used in the last week. From now on, you will POAS in private, behind his back. You will not be made a fool of. Especially by the very man that is supposed to be getting you knocked up.
Things aren’t going according to plan. Those are not PMS symptoms you are experiencing. Those cramps could very well be ligaments stretching to accommodate your expanding uterus. Come on, you timed everything right; this has to be the cycle! You just plainly refuse to believe your 10th negative test and even that spotting that has developed. We have all heard the rumours of implantation spotting and that would also explain the negative tests. Because “hello” you can’t get a positive test until baby has implanted.
You cling onto hope and every last thread of sanity that you might still have running through your body. It isn’t over until……. There is that all too
familiar feeling. She’s here. She has flown in and taken your uterus hostage. There are no ransom demands, only tears and disappointment. You let yourself wallow in self pity while she stays for her 5 day visit. Then it’s back to the beginning.
Beep beep, the alarm goes off. It’s 5:25am.
